Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Off.
I'm headed for the airport in 2 hrs. I bought a new Ipod last night, since there's really no possibility of traveling alone without music. I'm not nervous, but feel a little wierd about being gone for so long, alone. I know I won't really be alone-- probably not even as much as I would like to be, but it's hitting me that... I am leaving, even though I've been "gone" now I am really leaving. I'm excited. A little nervous. Unsure of what to expect. Feels like jumping off the 10 meter- so great once you're off , but can be a little scary to jump. So. I'm off.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Frustrated.
I am the girl who has these things happen.
We were at happy hour on Friday evening, at a bar with a group of my brother's co-workers. We were the only ones there, in an outdoor area. My green purse was hanging off the back of my chair. I was talking, laughing, drinking. A chinese lady in a blue shirt sat at the table behind us. Later, I went to pay. And it was gone. I had already had a few drinks, so my initial reaction, was, oh. Hm. Well. I still have my passport. Then people started quizzing me on what I had inside and I remembered, I am the girl who carries too much around. The camera is really what made me cry. Things are just things. But I like to keep my pictures, they are memories of people I won't see for a long time, or places I will never see again.
We went to Kawah Putih yesterday, a 3 hr drive from Jakarta. Amazing, up high in the moutnains, it's a crater (since Java is made up of tons of volcanoes) and there's a sulfuric lake that's always steaming and is an unreal shade of aqua-green, set against the black volcano, it's what the end of the world looks like I think.
I think I may have to stay in Jakarta for another week, because of the credit card situation. I was going to just go, but the thought of traveling for so long with no credit cards and nothing but cash and a passport seems a little stupid on my part. I'm not happy with this wrench thats been thrown in my plans, but I guess since I am not on any real schedule, this doesn't really matter. I see visions of my cash being stolen or lost, and me working in rice fields, with a wide brimmed hat and pants pushed up, and this makes me think, maybe better to carry a Visa instead of selling my body for pad thai.
We were at happy hour on Friday evening, at a bar with a group of my brother's co-workers. We were the only ones there, in an outdoor area. My green purse was hanging off the back of my chair. I was talking, laughing, drinking. A chinese lady in a blue shirt sat at the table behind us. Later, I went to pay. And it was gone. I had already had a few drinks, so my initial reaction, was, oh. Hm. Well. I still have my passport. Then people started quizzing me on what I had inside and I remembered, I am the girl who carries too much around. The camera is really what made me cry. Things are just things. But I like to keep my pictures, they are memories of people I won't see for a long time, or places I will never see again.
We went to Kawah Putih yesterday, a 3 hr drive from Jakarta. Amazing, up high in the moutnains, it's a crater (since Java is made up of tons of volcanoes) and there's a sulfuric lake that's always steaming and is an unreal shade of aqua-green, set against the black volcano, it's what the end of the world looks like I think.
I think I may have to stay in Jakarta for another week, because of the credit card situation. I was going to just go, but the thought of traveling for so long with no credit cards and nothing but cash and a passport seems a little stupid on my part. I'm not happy with this wrench thats been thrown in my plans, but I guess since I am not on any real schedule, this doesn't really matter. I see visions of my cash being stolen or lost, and me working in rice fields, with a wide brimmed hat and pants pushed up, and this makes me think, maybe better to carry a Visa instead of selling my body for pad thai.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
up.
and I don't want to be. I think too much of a caffeinated painkiller... slamming heart... can't sleep.
I have never talked to myself so much before, in my head. And it is only going to get to be more, when I am not with my family. It's a little intense, all this time alone with my brain. which is why this blog is still yawn worthy. tapping out the bullshit inside my overthinking, undertalking head.
i don't get homesick, i don't really feel like i have a home. i do get friendsick, even when traveling and with new people i meet. maybe already friendsick. sometimes, it would just be better with one of a handful of people. by my side.
I have never talked to myself so much before, in my head. And it is only going to get to be more, when I am not with my family. It's a little intense, all this time alone with my brain. which is why this blog is still yawn worthy. tapping out the bullshit inside my overthinking, undertalking head.
i don't get homesick, i don't really feel like i have a home. i do get friendsick, even when traveling and with new people i meet. maybe already friendsick. sometimes, it would just be better with one of a handful of people. by my side.
2 Tix Bought
I spent half the day trying to find the best and cheapest way to get to Phuket... I found plenty of cheap tix to Bangkok but that is too north and I want to work my way up there via the beaches.... so, I am going to Malaysia for a couple of days first, then to Phuket. It's still only costing less than $100 between the 2 tickets, but since I have no money coming in anymore, I am such a cheap bastard. I went to Kuala Lumpur last time I was here, but was really sick and basically hating the world so hopefully this time around am in better health and spirits. Although if I don't stop being eaten by mosquitos, I may get malaria. Or dengue fever. OR both. Which would be stellar.
Ate amazingly spicy mie goreng (noodles with seafood) today. Wow. This blog is b o r i n g right now. It will pick up when I start moving, I promise. RIght now I kind of feel like a kid on a snow day from school... sleeping in, showering late, lazing around... watching bad TV... BUT not spending money, which is good. Because, as I mentioned, I have none coming in. Zero. Oh. Scary. Minor panic at that thought.
Ate amazingly spicy mie goreng (noodles with seafood) today. Wow. This blog is b o r i n g right now. It will pick up when I start moving, I promise. RIght now I kind of feel like a kid on a snow day from school... sleeping in, showering late, lazing around... watching bad TV... BUT not spending money, which is good. Because, as I mentioned, I have none coming in. Zero. Oh. Scary. Minor panic at that thought.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
oh.
and the reason for all this "coco this" and "coco that" is, aside from being a nickname that I will never be able to shake, I didn't want future employers (or weirdos) to be able to google my name and find my blog. So, all the Coco.
Casablanca
Is where I just spent 6 hours... it's a ridiculously nice sports club/ outdoor pool thing, and i had the whole thing to myself. Now I'm a new shade of red, I thought the smog might protect me, guess I forgot my proximity to the equator. There's a huge pool, with rocks and palm trees and fountains and I had it all to myself... ahhhhhh... I read 1.5 books and also, just laid there. Alone. Then got to shower and get share a mirror with a totally unabashed woman, who sat down too close to me and let her pale doughy nakedness spill out into her lap while she blow dried her hair.
There are a lot of things my brother is jaded about, after having lived here for 5 years-the pollution, the traffic, the corruption, etc etc... but for some reason, this makes me like it more. The heady, sweaty air that smells like street meat, incense, asphalt, orchids (or some flower), tea, spices, astounding b.o., cleaning solution and ehxaust, and the humidity lets it stew and it smells like a city that's never stopped being 80 degrees and has just been churning and burning and it's never seen a blanket of snow or even a chilly night, just this hotness, this eternal flip-flop climate, neverending sweltering summer. The mishmash of random streetside businesses, the bike vendors that ride around neighborhoods, calling out what I hear as "ziiiii-ooooo" which I think is something to do with vegetables? The vendors everywhere with carts of huge fruit, or noodles, the huge mansions across the street from makeshift shacks, ditches filled with branded debris flowing next to huge beautiful balconied homes. It all reminds me that. I'm gone.
The taxi had to stop 2 times to ask someone on the side of the road how to get where i wanted to go. Kind of a helpless feeling, sitting in the back, motioning and speaking irrelevant syllables, hoping that if i point and repeat, he'll understand "uh, no keep going, keep going, straight, then left." He doesn't. And I guess it's human nature to still keep speaking, because I know he knows I don't understand one word he's muttering, so I smile politely, nod slightly. And still, we keep speaking. Baby gibberish at this point.
There are a lot of things my brother is jaded about, after having lived here for 5 years-the pollution, the traffic, the corruption, etc etc... but for some reason, this makes me like it more. The heady, sweaty air that smells like street meat, incense, asphalt, orchids (or some flower), tea, spices, astounding b.o., cleaning solution and ehxaust, and the humidity lets it stew and it smells like a city that's never stopped being 80 degrees and has just been churning and burning and it's never seen a blanket of snow or even a chilly night, just this hotness, this eternal flip-flop climate, neverending sweltering summer. The mishmash of random streetside businesses, the bike vendors that ride around neighborhoods, calling out what I hear as "ziiiii-ooooo" which I think is something to do with vegetables? The vendors everywhere with carts of huge fruit, or noodles, the huge mansions across the street from makeshift shacks, ditches filled with branded debris flowing next to huge beautiful balconied homes. It all reminds me that. I'm gone.
The taxi had to stop 2 times to ask someone on the side of the road how to get where i wanted to go. Kind of a helpless feeling, sitting in the back, motioning and speaking irrelevant syllables, hoping that if i point and repeat, he'll understand "uh, no keep going, keep going, straight, then left." He doesn't. And I guess it's human nature to still keep speaking, because I know he knows I don't understand one word he's muttering, so I smile politely, nod slightly. And still, we keep speaking. Baby gibberish at this point.
Monday, November 12, 2007
So. I left.
I've been gone from Atlanta for 10 days, already it feels a lot longer. I packed up my shit, had and amazing few days in LA, and took about 22 hours to get here. Here being Indonesia. Quit my job, turned in my leased car, sublet my apartment. It was all hurried and rushed and running around to get everything done. I know I left some things undone, but once I was on the plane, they all kind of melted away... so Comcast might have to wait to get their modem back. Oops. It didn't seem real that I was leaving...some sushi and a porn shop stop, then bam... we're looking for China Airlines. Even as I boarded in LA I felt like I'd be coming back soon. The reality is, I don't really know how long I'll be gone. I just got approval for my Australian visa, which would allow me a year there. I have to be back in October for my best friend's wedding, so I guess the longest I'll be gone is 11 months, the shortest 5. It almost seems like it doesn't matter.
Starting my unemployed status the right way... no alarm clocks, a lot of reading in the sun. Jet-lag was a whore this time, took me almost 3 days to be normal. Running isn't the same here, at home I run to clear my mind and get away after a shitty day at work. Here... my mind almost has too much time of its own and there are no shitty days at work. Lucky for me, I do like to run in the heat, though this sweltering equitorial-ness isn't the best idea in mid-day. And the staring. The staring, while running, I hate. I know not a lot of people run for exercise here- it's too polluted and hot. And I know there are about 7 bule (boo-lay-white people) here for every 8839233 brown, so to see a blonde girl running mid-day, causes maids to point and stare, motorbikes to nearly crash, and construction workers to pause. When I'm walking, dressed normally, on the street, it's kind of fun. Their curiousity and desire to get a wave and a smile out of me is charming. But for some reason when I'm running, I hate being watched.
Food is crazy cheap here. Cheap and spicy. But then again, relatively, pretty much everything here is cheap. My sister-in-law and I went to the salon to get "creambath" and mani-pedi. Took nearly 3 hours and cost about $12, with a fat tip for my foot guy. The guy working on my feet said in Indonesian "It's been a long time for her." Olga had to explain that I run a lot, therefore have somewhat calloused and mangy feet, and he showed me, marvelling, all the dead skin he'd labored to remove. I nodded and said, smiling, yes I know, I'm a monster. Another fun thing here, few can speak or understand me. So I feel at ease, nodding and smiling, "yes, you probably have a small penis." Creambath= washing, massaging, massaging, washing, conditioning, massaging your head. I don't think we have it in the States, but it's amazing.
Because the weather doesn't change (95 high, maybe 77 low), and because it's so smoggy, they love their malls. All Jakarta really seems to have to offer the world is a decent, if not corrupt and dirty, nightlife, some good restaurants, and their malls. While at the mall the other day, I saw a nerdy-skinny geeky mid-40's guy in glasses, sending a text outside of Starbucks, wearing this shirt, tucked in to his pleated khaki pants "Overworked and Underfucked." I can only imagine. Also, there was a relaxation massage type store, the type that would attract healthy yoga types, yet, in the store, they were playing the Aqua song, the Barbie song. I expected Indonesian Hooters girls to hop on the massage chair thingys and ride off into the hazy sunset. There is a radio station here, called "Female Radio." You can guess what they play.I just rocked my 1 yr old niece to sleep to an unedited version of Alanis Morisette.
I think I'm leaving on Wed or Thursday, for 5 weeks. The beaches of Thailand first. Then... not sure. Not much of a planner. I've been online so much since I got here because of the odd hours I've been awake. I should still be able to find internet cafes in most places, at least to let people know I haven't been drugged and sold into Thai prostitution. (maybe no jokes until I'm back.)
Fotes to come ASAP. Maybe tonight. Off to a gym/outdoor pool oasis thing in the middle of the craziness of Jakarta to read in the sun and watch naked Asian girls have no qualms about clipping their toenails in the public sauna. Jealous?
Starting my unemployed status the right way... no alarm clocks, a lot of reading in the sun. Jet-lag was a whore this time, took me almost 3 days to be normal. Running isn't the same here, at home I run to clear my mind and get away after a shitty day at work. Here... my mind almost has too much time of its own and there are no shitty days at work. Lucky for me, I do like to run in the heat, though this sweltering equitorial-ness isn't the best idea in mid-day. And the staring. The staring, while running, I hate. I know not a lot of people run for exercise here- it's too polluted and hot. And I know there are about 7 bule (boo-lay-white people) here for every 8839233 brown, so to see a blonde girl running mid-day, causes maids to point and stare, motorbikes to nearly crash, and construction workers to pause. When I'm walking, dressed normally, on the street, it's kind of fun. Their curiousity and desire to get a wave and a smile out of me is charming. But for some reason when I'm running, I hate being watched.
Food is crazy cheap here. Cheap and spicy. But then again, relatively, pretty much everything here is cheap. My sister-in-law and I went to the salon to get "creambath" and mani-pedi. Took nearly 3 hours and cost about $12, with a fat tip for my foot guy. The guy working on my feet said in Indonesian "It's been a long time for her." Olga had to explain that I run a lot, therefore have somewhat calloused and mangy feet, and he showed me, marvelling, all the dead skin he'd labored to remove. I nodded and said, smiling, yes I know, I'm a monster. Another fun thing here, few can speak or understand me. So I feel at ease, nodding and smiling, "yes, you probably have a small penis." Creambath= washing, massaging, massaging, washing, conditioning, massaging your head. I don't think we have it in the States, but it's amazing.
Because the weather doesn't change (95 high, maybe 77 low), and because it's so smoggy, they love their malls. All Jakarta really seems to have to offer the world is a decent, if not corrupt and dirty, nightlife, some good restaurants, and their malls. While at the mall the other day, I saw a nerdy-skinny geeky mid-40's guy in glasses, sending a text outside of Starbucks, wearing this shirt, tucked in to his pleated khaki pants "Overworked and Underfucked." I can only imagine. Also, there was a relaxation massage type store, the type that would attract healthy yoga types, yet, in the store, they were playing the Aqua song, the Barbie song. I expected Indonesian Hooters girls to hop on the massage chair thingys and ride off into the hazy sunset. There is a radio station here, called "Female Radio." You can guess what they play.I just rocked my 1 yr old niece to sleep to an unedited version of Alanis Morisette.
I think I'm leaving on Wed or Thursday, for 5 weeks. The beaches of Thailand first. Then... not sure. Not much of a planner. I've been online so much since I got here because of the odd hours I've been awake. I should still be able to find internet cafes in most places, at least to let people know I haven't been drugged and sold into Thai prostitution. (maybe no jokes until I'm back.)
Fotes to come ASAP. Maybe tonight. Off to a gym/outdoor pool oasis thing in the middle of the craziness of Jakarta to read in the sun and watch naked Asian girls have no qualms about clipping their toenails in the public sauna. Jealous?
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