up.

and I don't want to be. I think too much of a caffeinated painkiller... slamming heart... can't sleep.

I have never talked to myself so much before, in my head. And it is only going to get to be more, when I am not with my family. It's a little intense, all this time alone with my brain. which is why this blog is still yawn worthy. tapping out the bullshit inside my overthinking, undertalking head.

i don't get homesick, i don't really feel like i have a home. i do get friendsick, even when traveling and with new people i meet. maybe already friendsick. sometimes, it would just be better with one of a handful of people. by my side.